Tuesday 15 July 2014

Ruth Lomenda


I would like you all to imagine what it is like to have Keith as a big brother!  My sister Jean and I have the distinct honour of this, and I wouldn't change it for the world!  He has always loved me, challenged me, even annoyed me, and definitely amused me.    I am the kid sister, 8 years younger than Keith.  Legend has it that he cried the day he came home from school and found out he had yet another sister, and not a brother!  Too bad I'd say, but he got over it and he never personally let me   know that he would have traded me in for a brother!  

One of my early memories was listening to Keith practice the piano.  He was unlike other kids, he actually always loved to play and I loved to listen to him play.  My whole family actually played the piano, some better than others.  Our dad loved to play hymn tunes on Sundays, although his talents were definitely not in music.  All three of us kids took piano lessons.  Mom and Keith, both of whom had perfect pitch, would sit down and play duets.  March Militaire is one I'll remember.  Our house was filled with music, if it wasn't the piano, it was CBC radio, a habit I still have to date. 

The other memory that stands out is Saturday night hockey.  It was the one evening we would often sit down together and watch the Maple Leafs play on our black and white TV.  TV was a new thing, and this was a highlight of the week for many Canadians. Keith always took time for me and made me feel special indeed when I was little.  When I see him with his grandchildren I am reminded of this gentle nature.  He believed in me and made me believe in myself.

As I was growing up, I have fond memories of Keith breezing in and out with a pack of guys.  There was never a dull moment when he was around!  There were a lot of sleepless nights for my dad when he took the family car and with good reason.  Trips up to Jackson's Point were an adventure with Keith and the destination on hot summer days.  Keith easily excelled at school with little effort, much to his teachers' chagrin.  He shone at math especially.

He played in a Salvation Army band and also was in a hockey league.  I liked to go to the late night games and watch him and his buddies play.   After high school he studied to be an accountant, which was far too tame for a spirited person like my brother, so computers became the name of the game. Of course his music has been a constant in his life. I am always amazed at how he has thrown himself into his life with no hesitation, no fear, and tons of energy.

Keith met Ruth when he was in his early twenties.  Ruth is a big favorite in our family and it was a very special and important day when they were married.  She is my much beloved other sister and has always been there for Keith.  Shortly after the wedding, I was ready to go to university and they were living in an apartment nearby.  I was very lucky to board with them for my first year.  I was spreading my wings in every way and they were there to encourage me and try to guide me, and guidance I needed! I  laughingly always say that was an important year because my brother taught me to do two important things; drink wine, and play bridge!  These two things have stood me in good stead throughout my life, as has the music degree that they played a role in me completing.  After one year of me in the guest room, they were driven to leave the country, and that's when they left on their grand adventure to Africa and changed their lives, and our lives back home.  We were all very disappointed that they didn't return to Canada, but after my several trips to South Africa, I fully understand how the beauty and opportunities of this amazing country grabbed them and kept them. 

Many years passed when there was no internet and only infrequent correspondence between our homes.  Mom and dad visited South Africa several times and came back from these trips full of stories of this wonderful family as Kevin, Sam,and Niki came along.  They loved to visit and were treated very well by Keith and Ruth, and all of their friends.  This was the most news I had of life in South Africa for probably 20 years or more.  The family did visit Canada once or twice and Keith has made trips to be there for us and make hard decisions on behalf of my parents when the time came in their lives.  I have always been able to count on him, despite the global distance between us.  I have asked for and taken his advice and counted on his pragmatic nature to give me perspective in difficult times.

My own visits to South Africa have been pivotal times for me, especially my most recent visit in May this year. It was a time to reflect and renew this important connection with my big brother.  It was also an important time to look to the future, the legacy Keith is leaving with Ruth and the wonderful, large and loving family that I am so privileged to call my own.  Much of my heart remains in Cape Town and with the legend that is my brother Keith.  

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